Just had another friend tell me she traded her iPhone for a dumb phone. “Life is different” she said….”but better.” Not that we can all do that, but there is so much truth there. The instant job hack is this: phone down, eyes up, and ask everyone about their lives outside of work. Connection is what life is all about and we rob ourselves of that richness if we only allow for connection outside that work place.
The liking gap research is fascinating and undersells how directly this connects to leadership effectiveness. If people systematically underestimate how much their colleagues value them, and that gap makes them less likely to ask for help and less willing to speak openly, then the trust and psychological safety a leader is trying to build is being quietly undermined by something as simple as a phone on the table.
Cognitive Empathy requires actual presence. You can't accurately understand how someone is experiencing a situation if you're half-attending to a notification. And the data on boss phubbing is stark. A manager's wandering attention doesn't just feel rude, it actively erodes the sense of safety and meaningfulness that makes everything else possible.
Put the phone away. Stay in the conversation longer than feels comfortable. The best friend at work that drives engagement, retention, and meaning started as a colleague someone bothered to actually talk to.
Just had another friend tell me she traded her iPhone for a dumb phone. “Life is different” she said….”but better.” Not that we can all do that, but there is so much truth there. The instant job hack is this: phone down, eyes up, and ask everyone about their lives outside of work. Connection is what life is all about and we rob ourselves of that richness if we only allow for connection outside that work place.
I’ve experienced phubbing! What a great word. Much less funny when you’re on the receiving end of it, though.
The liking gap research is fascinating and undersells how directly this connects to leadership effectiveness. If people systematically underestimate how much their colleagues value them, and that gap makes them less likely to ask for help and less willing to speak openly, then the trust and psychological safety a leader is trying to build is being quietly undermined by something as simple as a phone on the table.
Cognitive Empathy requires actual presence. You can't accurately understand how someone is experiencing a situation if you're half-attending to a notification. And the data on boss phubbing is stark. A manager's wandering attention doesn't just feel rude, it actively erodes the sense of safety and meaningfulness that makes everything else possible.
Put the phone away. Stay in the conversation longer than feels comfortable. The best friend at work that drives engagement, retention, and meaning started as a colleague someone bothered to actually talk to.